Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

Why did our “last time” remind us that that girl hated Sarah? Is Sarah part of the scam? Is she that Stockholm’d?

Aria and Spencer talk about how the chips are the one thing they have over A that Charles might not realize they know about yet. They also can’t get ahold of Alison who is out with her dad. He’s taking her “someplace safe”. Alison sees the letter. Charles is after them. Hanna gets a scholarship of $30,000 wonder if there is an A connection?

That one chick Claire comes back to talk to Emily. She’s claims she wants to see Sarah and that they were friends even if they had bad times. Toby comes home to visit Spencer. It’s brief. And to be honest… boring.

Mona thinks Leslie is innocent. I think she’s under-reacting. Why is Mona so sure it’s not her? They try to figure out who could’ve stolen the A game from Mona.

Emily and Sarah talk abut their kiss, and it seems like Sarah is a little happy that Emily kissed her, but Em doesn’t want her to rush into anything out of impulse due to all her trauma. She takes half the blame and says “let’s both think about what we really want before we jump in”. Which is actually super smart of Emily’s part, she doesn’t really know Sarah that well yet. What if she’s still brainwashed or something? WHO KNOWS!!!

Lorenzo and Jason talk, next to a random single red balloon on Jason’s porch. Not creepy at all…. He claims he can’t get ahold of Alison, Jason is at home I just realized…. Why is he there? Why didn’t Mr. DiLaurentis take Jason?

Anyway, Jason walks up to the balloon and sees it’s an invite to a birthday…. Perhaps Charles wants to blow out the candles with some family this year?

Mike comes to see Aria, he claims that his mom doesn’t want to see him and asks her if she has anything to do with it, Aria is all “wat?” and doesn’t have a clue.

Hanna and Spencer may as well be talking about murder into a megaphone at the brew as they are overheard by a waitress. Who brings Spencer some weed gummies. Hanna says she can’t figure out what the scholarship group she got her money from. She then realizes with Spencer that the company who paid to shut down Radley paid her tuiton… the plot thickens!!! Spencer gets a call from Alison. Alison tells Spencer how her dad basically kidnapped her to protect her from Charles. He tells Alison he just needs time to comprehend the situation as he has believed his son was dead until now and “can’t even”…. he like so can’t even right now….

Emily gets all jealous around Claire and Sarah. Sarah notices and tries to tone it down. Sarah comes to tell Emily she’s going to take up Claire’s offer to move in with her family. She says it’s so tht she can openly date Emily. Mike and Mona also have a very sweet loving moment.

The girls get together and decide that instead of going to the police and being like “here check out our heads we been chipped” they are just going to home surgery the chip out instead because that’s safe…. and logical… and oh yea its none of those things. Sometimes, seriously, I’m all WTF you guys.

Spencer tells Toby about Charles…. FINALLY. Toby finds the gummies that Spencer didn’t even know she had.

Alison hides her decaffeinated coffee…??? and apparently sleeping pills….. I don’t know. Whatever. I’ll see later. I don’t get what’s wrong with coffee….

Toby talks to Lorenzo and says they need to leave immediately and to follow him without question. Lorenzo is all “OKAY”.

Aria Dials 911 but doesn’t call. The girls go to execute their plan – chip free! Mona picks up Alison.

Jason meets up alone with Charles…. he’s a little slow ain’t he? “Let’s go meet the serial killer alone :D” The girls join the birthday party and then so do the cops. There is a really stupid and cheesy scene where we are suppose to believe that a baseball cannon is deadly. DUMB. Toby is trippin balls from eating some fancy gummies.

Hanna tells her mom that she has a bad feeling about the money. Ashley is all TOO BAD DEPOSITED THAT SHIT!

Aria is upset that they didn’t catch Charles. She admits shes feels scared all the time. BUT then she gets a scholarship.

Spencer apologizes to Toby for drugging him up on accident.

Emily smashes her chip.

Jason contemplates drinking again. Alison tries to stop him. SUDDENLY they hear “JASON JASON COME PLAY WITH ME”. Instead of freaking out that Charles is clearly there, they just talk about how they think that day was fun.

They get a note that reads “I wAnted to trust you”.

No STONE Unturned

Spencer and Emily talk about Leslie being A. Is Charles alive? Or is Leslie pretending to be Ali’s brother? What is happening? This is beyond weird at this point… I mean I totally support drag, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on here.

Emily rides her bike past the DiLaurentis house and Ali’s dad is freaking out over a note left on his windshield. Emily tells him it wasn’t her and that she didn’t see who did it.

Aria apologizes to that cute boy she’s been hanging out with, he’s all… “it’s cool.”

Emily and Sarah are getting all flirty… Gee never called that!!! And by never, I mean always.

Spencer got a visit from her sobriety coach/friend/guy and he gives her a book to read about a guys struggle with drugs and Spencer talks about some speech she’s terrified of giving for valedictorian. She knows she will expected to be the “poster girl for trauma.”

Hanna is staking out a Chinese restaurant, looking for Leslie. meanwhile Caleb teaches Sarah how to do her new job. They have a discussion about Alison, Sarah seems to not know a lot about Ali. Hanna steals / “borrows” Leslie’s car…. WTF Hanna? GIRL YOU CRAY. Like “Look at me!!! I was kidnapped, and involved in a serial murder case, but apparently committing more crimes is the answer!!!!!!” I mean… freal? Also, why are they not on Oprah or some shit? Does no one in their world care that this happened?

Ezra gets a visit from an African accented girl. She claims to know Emily from the house building program she did. It becomes clear that bitch has no clue about Emily’s real life. Ezra fills her in, and Emily has a nice long talk with her old friend, and gets invited to do an 8 week project in Thailand. Emily agrees to go.  Then later…. decides not to.

Aria and Emily go back to where Aria’s new friend took a picture of A. Looks like Clark is already there! He wanted new pics I guess?? Anyway, flashback to Hanna and Spencer who are digging through Leslie’s car. They found multiple pairs of fake glasses, and four large unassembled cages. Super shady… Bitch is obviously up to some fake ass shit. Aria back at the junkyard with Clark, finds a doll, of which she picks up and realizes is a flip doll. When she flips the doll, It’s an Aria doll with a knife in her eye. CHARMING. AS ALWAYS. Which Ezra then sees later and is all WELL THAT’S DISTURBING. As she claims it to be an art project. He writes her a recommendation for her art thingy and stuff and she seems all “how cute is this?!” but at the same time “but Clark…” Girl… choose….

Spencer misses her AA meeting, and meets up with the sobriety guy. He explains he loves her basically. He wants her bod. He’s all girl… I’d hate to see that body in a body bag…. ;D Meanwhile Caleb and Hanna are doin’ it.

Emily walks in on Sarah freaking out that the carpet has blood on it, she says a dark SUV hit her and they decide it’s Leslie’s car that hit her on purpose.

The girls minus Emily are checking out Leslie’s lab at the college. SURPRISE THEY ARE CHIPPED. lol Looks like the “lump” Caleb asked Hanna about is more than just some lint… I agree with Hanna though, they should just show the cops their chipped heads!!!

Hanna sees all the caged animals and thinks of her abduction then starts letting them out. Then is later surprised when she has to deal with all the loose animals… GOOD JOB. Mona shows up like “you guys are being stupid. seriously WT actual fuck is happening in this zoo?” Okay she doesn’t say that, but she may as well have.

Mona tells them that it would be stupid to believe that Leslie was Charles. She points out he must be still alive because he couldn’t have been a donor, due to all his medications he wasn’t a candidate for donation. Leslie apparently knew Charles and claims he escaped the night Alison went missing. So did Bethany. Two siblings in there at once? Escaping together in the night? Why would he escape with Bethany and then try to kill Alison? And then why kill Bethany? Did he need her to escape? Why even save her from Radley if you are just going to kill her? Mona claims that Leslie hated Bethany. Maybe Leslie and Charles are hooking up? Maybe this is some messed up Bonnie and Clyde type thing?

Aria sees Ezra with Emily’s friend and thinks he’s on a date, I mean maybe he is, I’m not sure. But she has Clark still so I’m like… yea don’t care. Please girl move on. He is a grown man.

Emily and Sarah make out. Not shocked.

Mr. DiLaurentis is seen digging up Charles grave. Next to him is the note from Charles found earlier. It reads

“Dear Daddy,

Coming home for my birthday. You should plan a party. To die for. Just you.

Love, Charles”